Tena with her son, Mitch, and husband, Steve, at their son, Daniel’s wedding.
While there are many minor elements for a successful marriage, there are three necessary ingredients for a life-long blessed marriage.
Ingredient #1. Pray continually
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 states, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (NIV).
It is God’s Will that we speak directly to the Lord continually. We need prayer everyday. Our marriages require prayer daily. Our husbands benefit from our sacrifice of time in prayer for them. We can help our husbands when we expand our prayer list to our all-powerful God to include:
attitudes, choices, reputations, health, fears, finances, work, relationships, purpose in life, fatherhood, self-image, and any other difficult situation, circumstance, assignment, or trial that they are going through. In addition, husbands benefit when we pray with passion for their discernment whenever they must make a difficult decision.
We also need to be on bended knee for ourselves as wives as well. Often, we need to pray deeply that our attitudes and actions would be a blessing to our loved ones. During those times when we are depleted emotionally and physically, we should petition the Lord to replenish us.
Ask anyone who has faithfully interceded on behalf of her husband, and she will exclaim,
“Pray WORKS!” Develop a richer prayer life for your husband.
Ingredient #2. Forgive daily
Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (NIV).
Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgive you” (NIV).
If we don’t regularly extend this demonstration of love, we will grow bitter. I love what Stormie O’Martian writes, “Forgiveness is a two-way street. God forgives you, and you forgive others. Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right; it makes you free.”
When Christ died on the cross, it was not a partial payment for our mistakes and sins. It was a payment in full. When we repent completely of our sins and acknowledge Christ as Savior, we are forgiven completely. Once we have experienced this undeserving forgiveness from Christ, we are capable of extending the same gift of grace to others. We are commanded by God to forgive as Christ pardoned us. Marriages that have spouses who give the gift of forgiveness grow sweeter not bitter.
Ingredient #3. Serve lovingly
Galatians 5:13 says, “Serve one another in love” (NIV).
We live in fast-paced world that that shouts, “Me first, me first!” That me-centered mindset does not work in a marriage. Preoccupation with self separates instead of unites. We must exchange selfishness with selflessness. A couple that stays together through the trials and joys is a couple who puts each other first after God. As Godly wives, Elizabeth George has some helpful advice. She says we can ask two questions of our husbands each day, “What can I do for you today?” And “What can I do to help you make better use of your time today?” This makes our husbands a priority in our lives. We need to season our days with Christ-like service.
Make a fresh commitment to develop the habit of helping your husband.
Three main ingredients for a long-lasting and blessed marriage:
1. Pray continually
2. Forgive daily
3. Serve lovingly
May God bless all of our marriages!
Father God, we ask You to bless our marriages each and every day. Amen.